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by Eric Pudalov

As both clients and staff can tell you from experience, working together isn't always easy. All of us, at times, get frustrated, and we all go through misunderstandings.

So what is the best option when a situation begins to get out of hand? That can vary from day-to-day, and person-to-person, but there are almost always options.

Some may feel that a "disciplinarian" approach is best, using a "what I say goes" type of strategy. While this may work in some cases, particularly with people that basically need a lesson in manners, in others it may compound the problem. There are times when the discipline will simply make the other person angrier and more aggressive.

Another option is to calmly (but firmly) reason with the person (no matter what their age), and hopefully get them under control. If you have ever done police work (or even just watched CSI: Miami), you may have noticed that this is often the first approach if someone isn't combative. On the other hand, if the person is already physically violent, it is understandable if he needs to be restrained.

I don't mean to be a hypocrite in giving this kind of advice...as some of you who have worked with me know, I can have a quick temper at times. This is probably the first time I've said this on the blog, but this is partly due to my traumatic brain injury, which affects the emotions. I often feel as though I'm on an "emotional roller-coaster," anxious one minute, then angry the next, and then, surprisingly, calm a few minutes later.

I work with a therapist now who has been helping me learn techniques to deal with these sorts of situations. One of the things that I sometimes do is to massage my hands when I begin to feel tense (but before I explode). I also do slow breathing techniques with my eyes closed, or if the situation permits, I go and exercise. If I'm in an inescapable situation (such as driving), I can still do the breathing techniques with my eyes open.

Unfortunately, in the past, I will admit that my anxiety and temper have cost me jobs and relationships. But thankfully, I don't regret that. They have been helpful experiences in the long run, and have given me lessons that I can one day pass on to others.

It can be difficult sometimes to teach these sorts of techniques to others, of course, especially if they're not ready or willing to learn. However, it's almost necessary if we're all to get along as a group.

I will blog more about these sorts of things as they develop. If anyone has feedback, it's always welcome.

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